they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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