And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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