I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
