Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
