i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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