my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
All I want is dick and wine.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
