There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
