Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm sobbing to NWA
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
