small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
