You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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