Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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