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There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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