So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
