no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
