Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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