Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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