I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
