is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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