Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
