id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
