you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
