I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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