By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
