So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
