i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
