I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
