Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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