Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is wine microwaveable?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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