areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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