Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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