If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
