Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
