We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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