its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
