I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
