Pregnant stripper...not hot.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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