So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
