We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize