Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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