The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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