WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
