I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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