Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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