their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
