I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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