if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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