i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
