OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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