Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
