Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
