btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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