The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
