It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize