It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
