how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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