im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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