Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
