i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
