i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
17 year olds will be the death of me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
