how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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