kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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