I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
