Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
